Mystery Science Theater 3000 and the Bechdel Test
current song: Elemental Gelade opening theme
The concept of the Bechdel Test originates from this. In a nutshell, it's meant to measure female presence in a movie. To pass, a film must meet the following criteria:
1) The movie must have at least two female characters
2) That talk to each other
3) About something other than a man
There are variations to this test. Some insist that both females must be characters with names (so a conversation between Streetwalkers A and B wouldn't count). Some will also disqualify a conversation if there's a male participant as well. And of course there might be other topics of conversation which may be disallowed. But for the purpose of applying the test to the MST3K movies, I'm sticking to the basics with the following clarifications. Female means any female, regardless of age or species. The same goes for the male end of the equation. If a character's gender is uncertain (and by that I mean genuinely uncertain rather than a mannish woman or effeminate man), then it doesn't count either way. Talking to each other is defined as exchanging words directed at each other. Finally, all this applies to the edited versions shown on MST3K (because I have no interest in scrounging through Netflix and watching unfiltered versions of these films).
Now that we've got that cleared up, on with the grading (unrated titles will be marked when I gain access to them):
SEASON ONE MOVIES
101 - The Crawling Eye: Pass. Sarah and Anna have multiple conversations on non-male topics.
102 - The Robot Vs. The Aztec Mummy: Pass, but just barely. Flora and her daughter talk to each other about the former's sleepwalking.
103 - The Mad Monster: Pass, but also skin of the teeth. The Shirley Temple clone and her mother briefly negotiate on how late the former could stay up.
104 - Women of the Prehistoric Planet: Pass. Two of the crash survivors are women and one tries to cheer the other up.*
105 - The Corpse Vanishes: Pass. A bride and her mother talk about the possibility of the former dying at the alter. The Countess harassing Pat. Pat explaining her scheme to the cigarette girl.
106 - The Crawling Hand:
107 - Robot Monster: Depends on if you classify Ro-Man as male or uncertain. Fail if the former, pass if the latter. In the only instance of two females talking to each other, Martha and Carla talk about Ro-Man's motivations.
108 - The Slime People: Pass. Lisa and Bonnie exchange remarks about some skanky marinade they come across.
109 - Project Moon Base: Fail. At no point do two female characters converse with each other.
110 - Robot Holocaust: Pass. Nyla mocks Deeja when she talks like a wuss.
111 - Moon Zero Two: Fail. The only female conversation is when Clementine and Elizabeth talk about the former's brother.
112 - Untamed Youth: Pass. There are multiple non-male conversations between the various female inmates as well as with the judge.
113 - The Black Scorpion
SEASON TWO MOVIES
201 - Rocketship X-M
202 - The Side Hackers
203 - Jungle Goddess: Pass. When Greta and her handmaiden say good-bye.*
204 - Catalina Caper: Fail. In spite of the horde of bikini babes, none of them actually converse with each other.
205 - Rocket Attack U.S.A.: Pass. Two random women comment on how they think the air raid drills are stupid.
206 - Ring of Terror: Fail. Plenty of female conversations but I recall every single one of them being about men.*
207 - The Wild Rebels: Fail. Linda is the only female character with a speaking role.*
208 - Lost Continent: Fail. There are only two female characters with bit parts in the whole film who are nowhere near sharing scenes, much less talking to each other. Mostly rock climbing.
209 - The Hellcats
210 - King Dinosaur: Pass. Patricia and Nora have multiple (albeit brief) non-male conversations.
211 - First Spaceship on Venus: Fail. Not surprising, seeing as how through most of the movie the cast consists of seven men and one woman.
212 - Godzilla Vs. Megalon
213 - Godzilla Vs. The Sea Monster
SEASON THREE MOVIES
301 - Cave Dwellers: Pass, but just barely. The key moment comes when an old peasant woman tries to disuade her (grand)daughter from volunteering as a sacrifice.
302 - Gamera: Fail. None of the female characters ever exchange words.
303 - Pod People: Pass. Lara blithers about cooking while Cathy insults her at the campfire. Molly and Tracy talk about cooking. Cathy gets panicky while Sharon reacts with indifference before taking a shower.
304 - Gamera Vs. Barugon: Pass, but it was a squeaker. The key moment comes when one of the female enlisted asks about the diamond and Karen replies.
305 - Stranded in Space: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
306 - Time of the Apes: Pass. Caroline and Katherine have multiple non-male conversations. Also when Pepe and her mom reunite.
307 - Daddy-O: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
308 - Gamera Vs. Gaos: Pass. Ichi's mom and the old woman talk about the road construction.
309 - The Amazing Colossal Man: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
310 - Fugitive Alien: Fail. At no point do two female characters converse.
311 - It Conquered the World: Pass. The two wives discuss the dish washing duties.*
312 - Gamera Vs. Guiron: Pass. The space chicks have multiple non-male conversations.
313 - Earth Vs. the Spider: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
314 - Mighty Jack: Fail. At no point do any two female characters speak with each other.
315 - Teenage Caveman: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
316 - Gamera Vs. Zigra: Pass. The beachgoers discuss the evacuation order.
317 - Viking Women and the Sea Serpent
318 - Star Force: Fugitive Alien II: Fail. At no point do two females converse. Plus Tammy is the only female character until the last fifteen minutes.
319 - War of the Colossal Beast
320 - The Unearthly
321 - Santa Claus Conquers the Martians: Pass, but just barely. Up until the end (when the characters exchange good-byes, and thus allow it to pass), the only time two female characters talked to each other was when Girmar asked Momar about Droppo.
322 - Master Ninja I: Fail. Demi Moore portrays the only female character with a speaking part in the first half, and none of the female characters in the second half interact with each other.
323 - The Castle of Fu Manchu: Pass. Lin Tang and the fez-wearing cross dresser exchange code phrases when they first meet.
324 - Master Ninja II: Pass. During the first half, Carrie has some brief conversations with a couple of nameless female characters, mainly about union organization activities.
SEASON FOUR MOVIES
401 - Space Travelers
402 - The Giant Gila Monster
403 - City Limits: Fail. The only conversation between two women consisted of Wickings and Yogi talking about the wounded guy in front of them.
404 - Teenagers from Outer Space: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
405 - Being from Another Planet
406 - Attack of the Giant Leeches: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
407 - The Killer Shrews: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
408 - Hercules Unchained: Fail. The conversations between the women are about Herc.*
409 - The Indestructible Man: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
410 - Hercules Against the Moon Men: Pass. Samara and Agar discuss Agar's current affairs in the kingdom.*
411 - The Magic Sword: Pass. Helene and her maid talk about the social limitations of being a princess. Also, Helene and her fellow prisoners discuss their predicament.
412 - Hercules and the Captive Women: Pass. Queen Antinea and Ismene discuss the latter's impending sacrifice.
413 - Manhunt in Space: Fail. There are only two female characters, and they never interact.
414 - Tormented
415 - The Beatniks: Fail. The one conversation between two females was brief and between Iris and Helen about allowing the rest of the gang to go in with Eddie.
416 - Fire Maidens of Outer Space
417 - Crash of the Moons: Pass. From when Cleolanta grills Trinka about her subversive activities.
418 - Attack of the Eye Creatures: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
419 - The Rebel Set: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
420 - The Human Duplicators: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
421 - Monster A-Go-Go
422 - The Day the Earth Froze: Fail. The only conversation between two females comes when Leminkeinin's mom is told that her son has perished.
423 - Bride of the Monster: Pass. Janet and Tillie discuss the ownership of the Old Willow Place. Plus Janet and Margie talk about Janet's news story.
424 - Manos: The Hands of Fate: Pass. The wives talk about what to do about the presence of Margaret and Debbie.
SEASON FIVE MOVIES
501 - Warrior of the Lost World: Fail. There are no instances of two female characters speaking to each other, at least none that can be heard.
502 - Hercules
503 - Swamp Diamonds: Pass. While there are a lot of conversations about Touch Connors, the diamonds rule more of them.*
504 - Secret Agent Super Dragon
505 - The Magic Voyage of Sinbad: Fail. There is no instance of two female characters conversing.
506 - Eegah!: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
507 - I Accuse My Parents: Fail. Both conversations between Kitty and Vera are about Jimmy.
508 - Operation Double 007: Pass. The old woman subjects Yoshiko to a general interrogation.
509 - The Girl in Lover's Lane: Fail. All Carrie and Peggy talk about with each other is guys.
510 - The Painted Hills: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
511 - Gunslinger: Pass. Rose and Erika discussing the curfew law.*
512 - Mitchell: Fail. None of the female characters converse.
513 - The Brain That Wouldn't Die: Pass. The two strippers exchange insults.
514 - Teenage Strangler: Pass. Betty and Anne's conversation in the beginning.*
515 - The Wild, Wild World of Batwoman: Pass. Batwoman calls for a vote on skipping directly to the main business of the meeting.
516 - Alien from L.A.: Pass. Wanda has a general non-male conversation with the blonde bartender.
517 - Beginning of the End: Fail. Audrey is the only woman to appear throughout most of the movie, and she never interacts with any of the bit part female characters.
518 - The Atomic Brain: Pass. Not hard, seeing as how four of the six characters with speaking parts are women.
519 - Outlaw
520 - Radar Secret Service
521 - Santa Claus: Ambiguous. The conversations between Luptia and her mom center around Santa, briefly turning to Jesus, so wouldn't pass. The conversation between Lupita and the doll in her dream might count, since the doll had a female appearance. However, it could also be argued that the doll is a mouthpiece for Pitch and is therefore disqualified.
522 - Teenage Crime Wave: Pass. The farmer lady and Teri discussing her nightmares.*
523 - Village of the Giants: Fail. The only conversation between two females occurs between Nancy and the sheriff's daughter, and it's about Fred.
524 - 12 to the Moon: Pass. Two of the female astronauts discussing the ultrasonic showers.*
SEASON SIX MOVIES
601 - Girls Town: Pass. Lots of girls, lots of topics.*
602 - Invasion U.S.A.: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
603 - The Dead Talk Back
604 - Zombie Nightmare: Fail. The only females who converse with each other are the Voodoo Lady and Louise, and they talk exclusively about the zombification of Tony.
605 - Colossus and the Headhunters
606 - The Creeping Terror: Fail. The only time we see two women talking to each other is at the dance hall, and the sound is out. It was likely rhubarbing anyway.
607 - Bloodlust!: Pass. Betty and Jean talk about their situation as well as plan out an escape attempt.
608 - Code Name: Diamond Head: Fail. There is no instance of two female characters conversing, with Tso-tsing being the only speaking female character for most of the film.
609 - The Skydivers: Fail. The only conversation between two females occurs at the very beginning, and it's about Frankie.
610 - The Violent Years: Pass. There are multiple non-male conversations between the members of Paula's gang, as well as with their fence.
611 - Last of the Wild Horses: Pass, but just barely. Terry and Jane exchange greetings near the end.
612 - The Starfighters: Fail. Neither of the female characters speak to each other.
613 - The Sinister Urge: Pass. Gloria's interview with "Jane Doe," albeit the latter's father is brought up as a threat.*
614 - San Francisco International: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
615 - Kitten with Whip: Fail. The conversations between JodY and Midge concern Stratton.
616 - Racket Girls: Pass. Near the beginning, Peaches and Ruby talk about the former's training.
617 - The Sword and the Dragon: Fail. At no point do two females converse.
618 - High School Big Shot: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
619 - Red Zone Cuba: Fail. There are no instances of two female characters conversing.
620 - Danger!! Death Ray: Fail. Only conversation between two females occurs near the end between the retrieval squad and it's about Bart.
621 - The Beast of Yucca Flats: Fail. Not only was there never any instance of two women speaking to each other, there was barely any dialogue of any sort.
622 - Angels Revenge: Pass. The title characters have multiple non-male conversations.
623 - The Amazing Transparent Man: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
624 - Samson Vs. The Vampire Women: Pass. Thorina and Tandra have multiple conversations about Diana.
SEASON SEVEN MOVIES
701 - Night of the Blood Beast: Fail. The two female characters never speak with one another.
702 - The Brute Man: Pass. Two socialites make a lunch date as they leave the party near the beginning. Also, Helen and her student discuss piano playing.
703 - Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
704 - The Incredible Melting Man: Fail. The only two females who converse are the little girl and her mother but it's about the monster.*
705 - Escape 2000: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
706 - Laserblast: Pass. At the birthday party, Cathy and Fat Girl talk about the crappiness of said party.
SEASON EIGHT MOVIES
801 - Revenge of the Creature: Fail. At no point in the film do two female characters converse.
802 - The Leech Woman: Pass. June mocks Sally on her lack of caution, with the latter responding with a sez you.
803 - The Mole People: Fail. Adad is the only female character with a speaking role.
804 - The Deadly Mantis: Fail. At no point in the film do two female characters converse.
805 - The Thing that Couldn't Die: Pass. Jessica has multiple non-male conversations with Aunt Flavia and Linda.
806 - The Undead
807 - Terror from the Year 5,000
808 - The She-Creature: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
809 - I Was a Teenage Werewolf: Pass. The gymnast and her coach talking about her improvement.*
810 - The Giant Spider Invasion: Fail. The only conversation between two female characters is when Dr. Langer introduces Mary to Dr. Vance.
811 - Parts: The Clonus Horror: Fail. There is no instance of two female characters conversing.
812 - The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies: Pass. Margie gets her fortune read by Estrella. The "shick out of shape" singer discusses Margie's murder with Estrella.
813 - Jack Frost: Pass. Nastenka and the stepmom have multiple non-male conversations, as do the stepmom and Marfushka.
814 - Riding with Death: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
815 - Agent for H.A.R.M.: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
816 - Prince of Space: Pass, but it was a squeaker. Near the beginning, Kimmy asks Susie if she'd be afraid to go into space and she replies.
817 - The Horror Party Beach
818 - Devil Doll: Pass. Marianne has brief non-male conversations with Magda and Aunt Eva.
819 - Invasion of the Neptune Men: Pass in a scene when two girls are talking about the reports that space men caused the crippling cold weather*
820 - Space Mutiny: Fail. At no point do any two female characters converse with each other.
821 - Time Chasers: Pass. The redhead survivalist asks Lisa if they still have their time transpost and she replies. Lisa and her boss talk about covering a plane crash.
822 - Overdrawn at the Memory Bank: Pass. While the bulk of female conversation is between Apollonia and Djamilla about Fingal, there is a point where the field trip chaperone and one of the girl students discuss the latter's lack of post-meal hygiene.
SEASON NINE MOVIES
901 - The Projected Man
902 - The Phantom Planet: Fail. None of the female characters converse with each other.
903 - The Puma Man: Fail. Jane is the only female character.
904 - Werewolf: Fail. Once again, there is no instance of two female characters interacting.
905 - The Deadly Bees
906 - The Space Children: Pass. Eedie's mother asks to borrow some milk from Mrs. Brewster.*
907 - Hobgoblins: Fail. The conversations between Amy and Daphne are about Nick.
908 - The Touch of Satan: Ambiguous. While the conversation between Melissa and Lucinda appears to be male-free, it's not certain as the latter is impossible to understand. There's also the possibility of when Melissa pledges her soul to the Devil, as Satan had a female voice in that scene. But again, it's inconclusive.
909 - Gorgo: Fail. There is no instance of two females conversing.
910 - The Final Sacrifice: Fail. Aunt Betty is the only female character in the whole film, and even then she doesn't have much of a part.
911 - Devil Fish: Pass. Stella and Sonja briefly talk about tracking down the Devil Fish.
912 - The Screaming Skull: Pass. When they first meet, Jenny and Mrs. Snow exchange general pleasantries.
913 - Quest of the Delta Knights: Fail. At no point do two females converse with each other.
SEASON TEN MOVIES
1001 - Soultaker: Pass, but it almost didn't. The first female-to-female was when Natalie's gal pal encourages her to talk to Zack. Plus the conversations between Natalie and her "mom" don't count as it was really the soultaker. It squeaks by when Natalie and her actual mom exchange goodbyes at the end.
1002 - Girl in Gold Boots: Pass. Michele and Joan have multiple non-male conversations.
1003 - Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders: Pass. Madeline and Zurella talk about the wishing stone.
1004 - Future War: Pass. Sister Ann discusses her crisis of faith with the Mother Superior.
1005 - Blood Waters Dr. Z: Pass, but another squeaker. Ma Pringle informs her daughter that she's leaving and is acknowledged.
1006 - Boggy Creek II: And the Legend Continues...: Pass. Leslie and Tanya have multiple non-male conversations.
1007 - Track of the Moon Beast: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
1008 - Final Justice: Fail. At no point do any female characters converse with each other.
1009 - Hamlet: Fail. Gertrude and Ophelia are the only female characters with speaking roles, and they never converse.
1010 - It Lives by Night: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
1011 - Horrors of Spider Island: Pass. There are multiple non-male conversations between the members of the Shrill Harpy Dance Troupe.
1012 - Squirm: Pass. Geri has a couple with her mom and sister not about Mick or Roger.*
1013 - Diabolik: Fail. No two women converse with each other.*
Here's the breakdown by decade.